Communication is Key: The Power of the Tongue

Whether we realize it or not, there is a lot of power in our tongue. With our tongue we have the power for life or for death. The Bible says in Proverbs 18:21, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruits." We forget how powerful our words are, but we really need to not only remember that but really be conscious of it.

Stop and think for a moment about the course of your life. How many words have shaped who you are for good or for bad? I can think of specific instances where people have said things that have completely broken me and affected me to this day. I can also think of times where people have spoken life and encouragement over me that has kept me going and affected me for the better to this day. My guess is that there are things people have said to you that have never left you. It is amazing to me how things that are said to us at ages as young as 4 and 5 can impact the rest of our lives. That shows just how powerful words can be, which is why we must use extreme discretion when we open our mouths.

My church, Mariner's here in Irvine, California, did a sermon about the power of words. There was one line in particular that Jeff Pries said that stuck with me, "More homes have been destroyed by words than fires." Wow. What a powerful thought and realization. We must realize the severity and seriousness of watching what we say. So many times it's easy to get caught up in our emotional state and just rip our spouse, child, boyfriend/girlfriend, friend, etc. to shreds. Gosh, I admit it first hand that I say things when I am emotional that aren't the wisest or most constructive things. There are several instances where we must be aware of the danger lurking with our words:

• When you are weak (tired, worn out, stressed out, etc.)
• When you are emotional (argument, often when you are "weak", etc.)
• When someone presents a baiting opportunity (Can you believe what he/she did? Did you hear about so and so?)
• When you have been the victim of a verbally negative cycle (your dad/mom was critical, someone in your family was verbally abusive)
  

These are some situations that can get you in trouble. Avoid being lured into saying things you don't mean. Don't allow your "weak" moments to take over your tongue, keep your emotions in check and stop yourself from saying things when you know you are getting overly emotional, don't take the bait of saying something negative about someone just because an opportunity presents itself, and stop the cycle of a deadly tongue if you have been the victim of it. There are a few other Bible verses I wanted to point out on this subject:

• Ephesians 4:29 - "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."
• Proverbs 15:4 - "Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit."

It is essential to realize that life and death are in our tongues. We have the power to tear someone down or build them up. We can be a building block in someones life or we can be a stumbling block and tear them down. We can destroy our homes by lacking self control with our words. Of course it's easier said than done, but we must pull the reigns in on our carelessness with words. Yes, it's so hard not to just tear your spouse down when they do something wrong, but demonstrating love, gentleness, and grace in our words can make or break them as well as our marriage. Words are powerful, and we must use them wisely.