Foundation of Marriage: No Escape Clause

One of the most crucial components to marriage (in my opinion) is that both people go into it believing it is for life. If one or two of the spouses go into a marriage thinking they are going to give it their best shot, but if things don't work out, they will just get a divorce, they are just asking for trouble. Marriage is tough. There will be very difficult and trying times in every single marriage no matter how great the relationship is. If you go into it thinking there is an escape clause, you will use it. But, if you go into marriage believing it's for life, then no matter what comes your way, you are going to figure out a way to make it work. You need that kind of tenacity and determination to make it through life's challenges.

The sad truth is that divorce seems like the "get out of jail free" card, and a lot of people these days use it. The reality is that divorce is anything but a "get out of jail free" card. Divorce is painful for both spouses, for the children that might be involved, and for the extended families. Divorce is expensive and time consuming. And truthfully, almost every person I have ever talked to that got a divorce and re-married, said that they wished they had just stayed with their spouse. Most of those people tell me that they thought things would be better or easier if they just found someone else, but the reality is it's just a different situation and person with a whole new set of issues. Now, I want to stress that I am not trying to condemn anyone, judge anyone, or even state that there is never a reason to divorce. I do believe though that marriage is a commitment that you make for life, it's a vow you have taken before God, family, and friends, which is not to be taken lightly at all! If you examine your vows, they are serious stuff:

• in sickness and in health
• for richer and for poorer
• forsaking all others
• until death do us part

Those are serious statements you make. It's important to stop and think about those for awhile and really allow it to sink in what they mean. That's why I believe it's so important to make sure you are picking the right spouse, understanding the vow and commitment you are about to make, and make sure you are both believing it is for life. If you have been divorced before, my encouragement to you would be to not make the same "mistake" twice. If you get remarried, make this one for life!

Going into marriage with both people fully set on marriage being for life with no escape clause is setting yourself up for success. You provide a sense of security and an intimate, unbreakable bond for yourself, your spouse, and for your family. It provides you with this ability to realize no matter what life throws your way, you are going to make it through it together and much stronger and better on the other side. It will not always be easy, but you will make it through. One of the coolest and most exciting aspects of marriage is the fact that you are vowing to have someone beside you for the rest of your life through the ups and downs, good and bad, rough and easy, fun and tough. Two are so much stronger than one.

So, if you are dating someone, find out if they believe marriage is for life. Same goes for if you are getting ready to be married. If they are, then make sure you are on the same page with them. If they aren't, my suggestion would be to move on while you can. If you are in a marriage, sit down with your spouse and talk about this. "Do we believe marriage is for life?" Make sure you come out deciding it is for both of you. And if you are divorced and remarried, make sure you both determine this one is for life. I guarantee you that making this decision and having this mentality creates a whole different type of marriage because you are both going to make it work no matter what. If you aren't jumping ship, then you get serious to figure out how you can keep it afloat. No escape clause, just sticking together through whatever life throws your way!