Communication is Key: Problems with Not Communicating

Sometimes for various reasons we choose to stop communicating. What we forget about is that not communicating actually speaks volumes. In fact, not communicating almost always communicates negativity.

You get in an argument with your spouse. Soon, after a whirlwind of frustration and anger, your spouse stops talking to you. They take on a vow of silence with a mission. They aren't saying anything to you verbally, but the reality is that you know they are angry, hurt, and unhappy. Perhaps you get in a heated discussion with your spouse, and you stop saying anything with your mouth but start rolling your eyes, looking away, and posturing yourself away from them. You are communicating alright...communicating that you are angry with them. Silence can be just as painful as hurling insults and wounding words. A lot of times silence communicates you don't care, your spouse (or the other person if this is between friends, family, gf/bf) isn't important, this conversation isn't worth your time, and a whole lot of other painful things. While silence may seem like the "best" or easy option at times, it's never a good option.

While communicating is inevitably frustrating at times, it's so important to keep on communicating. Of course not everyone loves to talk, but we have to force ourselves to at least communicate with our spouse because your marriage depends on it. Part of the thing we have to realize is that no one can read minds. The only way for someone to understand is for you to tell them. Communication is a fundamental need for women. Of course there are men out there that love to communicate and women who don't, but by in large, women are hard wired to be communicators. We love a good chat, and from the time we are little, we learn to build relationship through communicating. Communicating is essential to every relationship because it helps us to know one another as well as helps us to work through life's challenges and relational issues. I understand that communicating can be extremely frustrating and have many break downs, but that just means we need to keep working at it. If you were trying to get to work, and some of the roads were broken down and under construction, you wouldn't just say, "Forget this! I am going to quite working there." Of course not, you would find a different route to take or a way around that construction. Communication is the same, we have to keep testing out new routes to get to the destination of a relationship.

Communicating creates intimacy and builds relationships, which is why it is so important to keep it up. Not communicating has the opposite affect where the relationship deteriorates and what isn't said only builds walls between people. Communicating is a fundamental need and form of relationship, and if you stop communicating with your spouse, it can often lead to them just turning to someone else to meet this need, which rarely leads anywhere good. If you are really struggling in your communication and feel like you just can't figure out a healthy way to communicate with your spouse, get professional help. We must keep communicating and learning how to best communicate for the sake of our relationships.