The Last Straw: Road to Healing

What if you marriage is struggling, but you don't want to get a divorce? You want to make it better. You want to make it work. Now what? Well, the first thing to know is that getting your marriage back on it's feet and better than ever is a process that can take awhile. Patience is essential and tenacity is a must.

My first suggestion to any couple that has been feeling like divorce is an option or that their marriage is on its death bed is to go get professional help! It's the greatest investment and move you can make. A lot of people have a negative view of professional mental health services, but the truth is that there isn't a thing wrong with it. Think about it...if you found out you have cancer, you wouldn't just sit back and hope you didn't die. You would go to a doctor and start the long, painful process to healing. You would fight for your life. Getting help from a therapist, counselor, or psychologist is simply a way to fight for the life of your marriage when it's being attacked by a life-threatening "disease." A lot of people even go to therapists for a check-up just to make sure everything is on track. Professionals can help you identify the specific break downs, give you tools for success, and make the already challenging process a lot easier, quicker, and typically more successful than if you just try to struggle through and figure things out on your own. Professional help is one of the best resources and options for a couple/marriage that is struggling.

Another option is to get some books on marriage. There are a lot of books out there with some great and helpful information that can not only help your marriage but help you as an individual. Books can sometimes just help to open up your eyes to what might be going on in your marriage and give you some ideas on how to make your marriage better. They help give you more knowledge on the subject. Often times when we need to do something or want to know more about a subject, we read about it in a book or look up an article online. The same is true for marriage; if you want to know more, learn more, and become more knowledgeable on marriage, read up on it. I will have a list of books I recommend coming soon.

One of the best steps you can take in your marriage is to literally profess to yourself and your spouse out loud that you are going to fight for your marriage. Take the time to sit down with your spouse and discuss where things are at, what you each are feeling, and make a commitment right then and there together to do what it takes to turn things around. If your spouse wants nothing to do with this process, well then make that commitment to yourself to do what you can to make a change...go get individual therapy to help you through the process, grab some books yourself, make some changes in your behavior. Change is contagious and requires movement. It may sound oversimplified, but you would be shocked what just making up your mind to do something can do to your marriage. Make up your mind today to make your marriage not only work but be the best it can be.

It's tough to really give specific advice for each of my readers because I don't know each situation. That is why my first suggestion is to get professional help from someone who can tailor their advice specifically to the needs of you and your marriage. These are general concepts though that can really help get you moving in the right direction. If you need more specific help or ideas (finding a professional near you, book suggestions, tips, etc.), feel free to email me at ashley@littlewifey.com.