Food for Marriage: Intimacy

Intimacy. I chose the word intimacy over sex intentionally because it more fully capitulates the point I want to make. My definition of intimacy is knowing someone on deeper levels that transcends average relationships and bonds - being completely vulnerable and completely protected at the same time. Sex has become so commercialized and glamorized in today's society that it unfortunately is not kept in the confounds of marriage a lot of times. Sex is something frequently tossed around casually by people in many contexts. Intimacy though is something that you can't just experience with anyone. Intimacy requires more attentiveness, time, and connection than sex does. It almost supersedes words because it is so surreal to have true intimacy with your spouse. It is a bond and experience that really just isn't fully realized if explored outside of marriage.

Intimacy is the fifth Food for Marriage I want to discuss. Every marriage needs intimacy. It connects us with our spouse in ways we cannot connect with anyone else. It is this amazing gift from God that allows us to know each other on such deep levels that they can barely be described really. They just have to be experienced. Sex is a frequent gateway for intimacy to be cultivated, but it goes beyond just the sexual act itself and reaches to the deeper connection. It is that realization that you are sharing something so phenomenal, exciting, and special with this person you will be with for the rest of your life. Intimacy can also be cultivated through deep conversations that you don't have and can't have with just anyone. You may share experiences that have shaped you, things no one else knows about, deep fear or hopes, etc. It is all about sharing yourself with your spouse in a way that is only possible within the safety of that marital bond.

Sharing yourself in the most vulnerable of ways and it being welcomed and protected by your spouse is something we all want and need. That intimacy is one of the best parts of marriage, and every marriage needs it. This is something that does come instantly but requires time and devotion to your spouse. You have to provide and feel that safety in order to truly experience the depths of intimacy in marriage. If you don't feel you can trust your spouse with your most vulnerable parts, intimacy will be choked out. Both spouses must work to provide that safety and security for each other, and then each take the risk of completely opening themselves up to their spouse in order to have true intimacy. It is essential to a marriage and one of the wonderful benefits of marriage!