Food for Marriage: Quality Time

I don't know about you, but I find there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. It seems too like the older I get, the more time flies by. Time is one of the most limited resources out there today. As I mentioned in the introduction yesterday, we are constantly pulled in a million directions by a million commitments we have. There is so much at our finger tips these days and so much on our plates, that it's tough to find the time for everything. As much as these things can be a blessing, they can also be the pathway to marital problems.

Over-commitment and over-involvement in a laundry list of things can be majorly detrimental to marriage. Also as I mentioned yesterday in the introduction, it isn't that we should spend every waking moment at home and with our spouse and completely neglect responsibilities and community involvement. It is just that we have to learn how to balance it all and keep ourselves in check to make sure our marriages (and families) aren't suffering as a result of it. That brings me to the first food in the "Food for Marriage" series this week - Quality Time.

Quality time with your spouse is an essential and imperative component to the success and quality of marriage. Some people may require more or less of this, but every marriage needs some quality time to grow and thrive. Think back to the dating years... Most of us spent a ton of time with our spouses back then. We made time where there was none to be had even. Why? Because we enjoyed their company, wanted to get to know them, and were hoping things would progress forward in the relationship as a result. If you are married, you were successful at that. What happens after marriage though? After the "I dos?" We think our work is done. We start devoting ourselves to anything and everything, and before you know it, you've lost that lovin' feeling. (Come on, you all know that song by the Righteous Brothers - "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'"). Why do we stop putting forth the effort once we find the person worth committing
the rest of our lives to? Think about it - that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. We search the world over, find someone who peaks our interest, we work as hard as possible to get their attention and maintain their attention, we commit to being with them for life, and then we stop. The race doesn't end with our vows, it starts.

Time is one of our most precious resources. We are given one lifetime, which may seem like forever, but the reality is that it is a blink in time. Just ask a grandparent or elderly person how long a lifetime is, and they will tell you how it flies by. What are you going to do with your speck of time on Earth? It is funny because I remember my mom telling me to enjoy being a kid because it will fly by. She said time only goes by more quickly the older you get. I thought she was crazy because it seemed like it would be forever before I would grow up, and now that I am grown up, I see that time flies by more quickly than I could ever have imagined. It is kind of scary at times because I feel like I have wasted so much of my time here on Earth. That is why we must make the most of this time we are given, and one of the best ways you can spend that time given is developing one of the few things that stay with us throughout this short life - our marriage.

Quality time spent with our spouse is not only essential, it's wonderful. I am not going to lie, there is nothing I would rather do than spend time with my hubs! Straight up, I cannot get enough time with him. We spend time talking, working out, reading together, watching sports, going to amusement parks...you name it, we do it together and love every second of it. We grow so much closer in those moments because we enjoy each others company. We have fun together
and make memories that will last our lifetime together. Maintaining that friendship is one of the glues of marriage, and that can only be done by investing your time into one another and the marriage. I know, I know - there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done. You are talking to someone who at one point was pulling 75 hour weeks - full time, 2 year track Master's student, working full-time, traineeship with 8 clients & weekly supervision, personal therapy each week, planning a wedding across the country...finding time for anything was like chasing the wind. There are seasons where time is harder to find than others, but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to make time for one another! You must make time for your marriage, or it will not make it. If it does make it, there won't be much to it. If things are falling apart right now in your marriage, ask yourself how much quality time you have spent with one another. Make the time - rekindle the joys of those dating years and watch your relationship, friendship, and marriage grow!