Food for Marriage: Christ Centered

As I mentioned yesterday, there are several items essential to marriage. They are what I like to call "Food for Marriage" because they are feeding and fueling the marriage to grow and develop into the strong and healthy entity that it can and should be. The first Food for Marriage I would like to discuss is "Christ centered." I want to mention this first because I believe it is the most important. I know not all of my readers are Christians, but I would encourage you to read this entry anyway and hear me out because a lot of the Biblical concepts of marriage are very practical.

I am guessing you might have a few questions right off the bat, so I wanted to try and address them:
Q: What does it mean to have a Christ centered marriage?
A: Well, it means having Christ at the center of your personal life and marriage.

Q: How do you go about doing that?
A: It's about having a personal relationship with Christ, asking him into your home, your life, and your marriage. Pray for your spouse, pray for yourself to be the best spouse possible, pray for your marriage, and pray together. Read the Bible - it's got all sorts of practical tips and advice in there, and it really helps you to feel closer to God and His plan for you. Go to church together. Find a small group of fellow Christian young couples that can act as a support and accountability group. There are lots of things you can do to put Christ at the center of your marriage. As we grow closer to God, we grow closer to each other.

Q: Why have Christ at the center of our marriage?
A: The plain and simple truth of all marriages is that they are tough and sometimes require strength, love, and patience that are beyond our human capabilities. I have found in times where I feel so overwhelmed or frustrated, it is so nice to be able to pray to God for supernatural strength, ability, and love to work through things. He never fails us. He is the strength that we lack at times. Additionally, there is higher accountability. We are humans, and we make mistakes. It is nice though to know that you are not only accountable to your spouse but also to God. It gives you all the more reason to "stay in line." Also, that is true of your spouse; you know they have a higher accountability than just to you. It's kind of like a little extra insurance.

I know what you might be saying..."the divorce rates within the Christian community are the same as the secular community." You are unfortunately right. It is a real shame that Christians have not been able to be the beacon of light to the rest of the world in their marriages. I believe that a lot of the reason this is the case is that although Christians believe in Christ, it doesn't necessarily mean they are putting Christ at the center of their life and marriage. Now, I am not trying to judge anyone at all - Christians or non-Christians, but I do believe that there are reasons there isn't a huge discrepancy between divorce rates in the Christian community and outside the Christian community. My personal belief is that Christians today have gotten lazy. We don't hold ourselves to the Biblical principles we know to be true. We don't cultivate the same relationship with Christ that we should. We don't pursue righteousness the way we should. We don't rely on Christ as much as we should. We just kind of do the bare minimum and hope that it's enough to get us by. The unfortunate thing is not only is that not good enough, but it makes Christians look so terrible, it makes us look like hypocrites, and it makes our God look dishonorable. We must hold ourselves to a higher standard - we know better! That being said, I believe whole-heartedly that Christ being at the center of a marriage is one of the most important keys to a happy and successful marriage.

God created marriage. He wanted us to have a companion. In Genesis 2:18 the Bible says "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" This is where women came into the picture. God wants us to have a companion! He knew that we needed each other, and that is why he made us complementary to each other. Additionally, he tells us that 2 are stronger than 1, and that we have a direct connection with him when we are gathered together. Just look at Matthew 18:20 - "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." That seems pretty clear to me. Think of a rope - the more strands there are in the rope, the stronger it is. No one wants to buy a rope that is just one strand because we know that more strands are stronger, which is why together in a marriage, we are stronger than by ourselves. It's a blessing. Not only did God create women for men, not only did he create marriage, but He also gave us a lot of assistance with how a marriage should look.

God gives us a lot of help about marriage. One of the main concepts the Bible emphasizes is that marriage should be other-focused. He says in Ephesians 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Not only is this verse saying we should be other-focused, but we should do it because the marriage is Christ centered, which means we do it out of love and awe for Jesus. Other-focused is a dying concept in our society today because everything is about the individual. It is about each person doing what is best for them, what makes them feel good. That is not a recipe for a happy and successful marriage. We must take the focus off of ourselves and place it on our spouse and what is best for our marriage. If we can't do that, the marriage will fail. God also lets us know that there is a fundamental need for both the husband and the wife. Women need love, men need respect. Look at Ephesians 5:33 - "So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." That's a pretty big clue as to what each gender needs in the marriage. Also, all through the Bible, God tells us what true love looks like. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 gives us a beautiful and thorough portrait of love (see below for the verse). The Bible gives us so much on the topic of marriage. He wants us to be successful because he designed marriage for us! Here are a few other verses i find helpful and encouraging about marriage:

• Proverbs 18:22 - "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure..."
• Proverbs 31:10 - "Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies."
• Matthew 19:5 - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh."
  
• Ephesians 5:31-32 - "As the Scriptures say, 'A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one."
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Whether you are a Christian or not, Christ created marriage for us and provides us some amazing assistance as to what we can do, what it should look like, and how to be successful in our marriages. Marriage is a gift from God, and he gave us some instructions to help guide us along the way. I cannot encourage you enough to pray together, pray for each other, pray for your marriage. Follow His words, and honor Him in your marriage. Even if you aren't a Christian, try out these concepts because they are fundamentally and practically important to a marriage! Put Christ at the center of your marriage - truly, earnestly, and whole-heartedly - and He will bless you.