Food for Marriage: Love Tip

Happy Friday everyone!

As you know, we are currently talking about the essential components to keeping a marriage nourished and thriving. It is a 2-week series I call "Food for Marriage." I thought today we would take a little break from the articles to apply some of what we have learned this week. Let's take this menu and make it a meal :)

How can we apply the concepts from this week - Christ-centered, Commitment, and Communication - to our marriages? Well, I am guessing most of you are going to have a 3-day weekend. Woo hoo! It's the perfect time (no excuses for no time people!) to try out one or more of the following on your own marriage:

1. Christ-centered - This weekend take some time with your spouse to sit down and talk about where your relationship is at spiritually. Is God at all a part of your relationship? Is he the center? What could you do differently or better to have Christ be a real part of your marriage? You don't have to spend a ton of time on this, but at least 10 minutes so it's substantial enough to get somewhere. Then discuss some things that you each would like to be praying about (maybe it's your marriage, your kids, your job, your finances...you get the idea). Next, pray together giving each person a chance to pray for the things the other person mentioned. If your marriage is too estranged to do this, think about these things on your own and then pray for yourself, your spouse, and your marriage.
   
2. Commitment - Sit down with your spouse and write down all of the things you are collectively and individually committed to (job, PTA meetings, small group, etc.). Rank their importance and put an approximate number of hours spent each week on those commitments. Tally those numbers for a grand total. On the same sheet of paper, write the words "Our Marriage." Pause for a minute and think about what you do to commit to your marriage. Do you set aside any specific time to just focus on the marriage? Write down a list of any and all things you do each week to nurture your marriage. Estimate how much time is spent doing those things. Now look at the 2 grand totals. Is it way lop-sided? Is it balanced? Talk about how you can up the time in the column spent on your marriage. How can you better commit to your marriage? If there just isn't enough time, figure out what you can take out of the other list of commitments to make time to commit more to your marriage. Our marriages have to be #1 in importance - even though we can't spend 40 hours a week on it, are you putting quality into it?
   
3. Communication - Each spouse write down 5 things they love about their spouse and 3 things each thinks are the biggest stumbling blocks or issues in the marriage. Next, put one of the pens aside and use one of the pens as the "speaking pen." Think of it as a microphone where only the person holding it can speak. The first person holding it should name the first thing on their love list about their spouse and explain why they chose that. After doing so, hand the pen "microphone" to the other person to let them comment if they desire or then list their first thing on the love list & why. Repeat this process for all 5 things on the love lists. Next repeat the same process for the 3 issues. The point of the exercise is to give space for each person to say their piece with love and respect and to build up our spouses and marriage. Then it allows the other person to repeat what they heard and how they feel about it. Once you have accomplished the lists, talk about what you had in common on the lists, what was challenging about the exercise, what you liked, and the overall experience.
   

Alright everyone - try at least one of these out this weekend. Let me know how it goes, what you thought, and all that good stuff! Enjoy the long weekend, and I will meet you back here on Monday (yup, I will still do a Monday entry) to continue the "Food for Marriage" series!