The Four Horsemen

There is a very well renown author by the name of John M. Gottman, Ph.D. who has written many books and done extensive research on couples. From his studies, one of his best known concepts that has been utilized to help many couples is what he calls "The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse." He says that not all negative interactions are equal in a marriage. In fact, he found that there are four negative interactions that can best predict the outcome of marriages.

The Four Horsemen is a concept that I really think we can learn a lot from. They give you the ability and insight to examine yourself and your marriage in search of these four things. If you identify they exist, then you can try to work on identifying them in the moment and then practice an alternative interaction instead. Knowing danger signs, identifying them in your own relationship, and then doing something about them is the step to healing. Awareness is half the battle. Over the course of this week, I want to go over The Four Horsemen as well as their antidotes. The Four Horsemen are:

1. Criticism
2. Defensiveness
3. Contempt
4. Stone-Walling

Join me this week as we examine these four dangerous interactions in marriages, and their alternatives.


* If you would like to check out more on Gottman, you can view his website at: http://www.gottman.com/

*The information I am using for this series comes largely from Gottman's book: The Marriage Clinic