It's All In Your Head: Like There's No Tomorrow

As I have been saying this week, a lot of the battle for a thriving marriage begins in the mind. It is largely based on what you choose to make of your marriage. We choose how we react to things, what we focus on (the positives or negatives), and how we are going to behave in the marriage. Sometimes it is tough to handle things the "right" way, but I have found another trick that kind of helps to keep things in perspective and keep you on track to making the most of each day in your marriage and with your spouse.

Live like there is no tomorrow. We tend to always think there is a next time or tomorrow, and so we do not keep ourselves in check today. The truth is that we are not guaranteed tomorrow. We have all heard that before, but have you ever really thought about what that means? Your spouse could walk out the door this morning and not make it back. What was the last thing you said to him/her? Did you make the most of each day they were here with you? Did you treat them the way you wished you had? So many people have regrets when loved ones pass away because they took that time for granted assuming there would always be a tomorrow.

Sometimes our spouses are frustrating or less than perfect...as are we. If most of us actually stopped and thought about what it would be like without them though, we would figure out a way to deal with those imperfections and savor the good in them. Focusing on the positives (like we discussed yesterday) is a little easier when you think about the fact that each moment with our loved one could be the last. It sounds a little morbid and manipulative perhaps, but it is reality. When you talk to someone who has had a brush with death, they almost always talk about how it forced them to re-prioritize and appreciate all the great things and people in their life. It shouldn't take almost dying to start living. We complain about our marriage and spouse, but the truth is that it is far better with him/her than without him/her.

We aren't guaranteed tomorrow let alone 5 minutes from now...don't waste another minute over something that doesn't really matter. Make the most of here and now and realize that for all the flaws your spouse might have, it's better with them than without them. If you begin to treat them like that and really value them as if they could be taken from us at any moment, you will see a dramatic change in your own attitude and in the life of the marriage.