Food for Marriage: Love Tip - 2

Well, the Food for Marriage 2 week series is over. To recap what the 6 foods were;

1. Christ-Centered
2. Communication
3. Commitment
4. Quality Time
5. Intimacy
6. Support System

I wanted to include a picture of the Food for Marriage Pyramid so you all could print it out if you so desired as a friendly reminder.

Also, I wanted to include some love tips for ways to apply the things we discussed this week. As always I would encourage you to try at least 1 of the following 3 tips:

1. Quality Time - This weekend carve out some time to sit down with your spouse with no distractions. If you have kids, get a sitter for even an hour. No TV's, no computers, no answering or using phone, just the two of you. Take an hour or so to talk. Don't know what to talk about? Start with how his/her week has been. Or start with asking your spouse what their favorite memory of your marriage has been. Just spend some time together talking with one another about life. Too scary or awkward? Then plan a picnic, walk, day at an amusement park, or some other activity for the 2 of you to do together. Conversation will come along with the day. The point is to spend time together where it is just the two of you building relationship with one another.
2. Intimacy - Try planning something romantic for the two of you. (this is for married couples only :)) Maybe it's candles, light music, and...well, I am sure you can think of something ;) Try to really focus on being present with your spouse. Keep your mind there in the room with your spouse (try not to be thinking about the 500 things on your to do list or how you look or how you forgot to clean out the fridge). Eye contact is encouraged and vulnerable conversation is as well. See where the night leads and if you can up the connection between the two of you.
3. Support System - Sit down with your spouse and talk about who all is in your closest group of friends and family (who all do you spend the most time with, go to for advice, who do you consider your closest confidants outside of each other). Talk about some of the other people you might surround yourselves with that might not be quite as close. Then talk about the quality of friendships they are and if they encourage the marriage or not. If not, how can you maybe distance yourselves a bit. If so, how can you surround yourselves more with them and other people like them. If you aren't married and are just in a relationship, I would encourage you to still try this out. If you are single, I would still encourage you to examine your support system to see how is encouraging and holding you accountable for your actions.
   

Alright everyone, try it out and let me know what you think! Happy weekend! By the way, I would just like to take a moment to say Happy 1 year anniversary to the love of my life!!! It has been the most incredible year together, and I could not be more blessed!!! I love you Steve!!!!! <3>

read more

Food for Marriage: Support System

The sixth and final of the Food for Marriage is a support system. Marriage is challenging in and of itself. look It is a similar concept as the old African proverb "It takes a village to raise a child." Despite the fact that Western civilization prides itself on independence, we really are created for relationship. Westerners like to pretend and act like they don't need anyone else, but the truth is we do and are influenced by those who surround us whether we realize it or not. Who we have around us influencing us is something we must take a look at and get right.

Think back to the dating years....
Most people stress about making sure their boyfriend/girlfriend's friends like them. Most of the time that "approval" makes or breaks a relationship. The friends that surround each person have so much influence on the quality of relationship in several ways, and that really doesn't change as a married person. In fact, those surrounding people become even more important. If the friends surrounding each spouse do not like who that person is married too, it can be a very dangerous situation. Often they will speak ill of that person and plant negative seeds into that marriage. Additionally, the quality of friend is important because of the influence they have beyond just negativity toward the spouse or marriage. They may encourage the spouse to go out partying, go to places they shouldn't be, hang out with people they shouldn't hang out with, look at things they shouldn't look at, do things they shouldn't do, etc. I can't tell you how many times I have heard of disturbing situations that arose from being surrounded with the wrong friends. One girl I know is married with 2 kids, but her friends have encouraged her to leave them all at home while she goes out partying, "having fun," and just enjoying herself. The destruction being done to her, her marriage and the lives of her kids is extremely saddening. Several times I have heard of guys being taken out to strip clubs with their friends just because "that's what guys do and looking never hurt anyone." That's an absolute lie by the way (a discussion for another time). Another girl I know was engaged to a guy who was hanging out with a bunch of divorced and single guys. Eventually he was fed so much negativity about marriage that he just called everything off to pursue the "fun" single life. Time and time again, story after story, I have heard of situations like this resulting in or heading toward disaster for relationships and marriages. A poor choice in the friends that surround you can literally destroy a marriage.

What kind of friends should you have then? Well, I am not saying you can't have single friends and divorced friends or that you can never go out or have fun. What I am saying is that discretion in friends is essential to the success and quality of your marriage. Try to find friends and family who encourage your marriage. Ones who keep you in check and keep you accountable to your spouse, marriage, and responsibilities. Every single friend/family member surrounding you should be promoting the health of the marriage. If they aren't, then beware of that influence. Again, that doesn't mean you can never discuss problems or issues you are struggling with or that your friends/family can never speak into your life about some things they might see going on. What is their ultimate goal though? Are they bringing up things to help your marriage to ultimately become better? Are they going to listen and encourage you when you are struggling? You want friends/family surrounding you that can uplift you and your marriage. You want them to encourage positive behaviors in you and keep things in check if they might get a little out of line. Having people around you that are also married can help create accountability and encouragement. I love being around my parents and Steve's parents because they are still married, still going strong, and I know we can learn a thing or two from their journey and success. If your parents are divorced, try to find family members that are still married. Join a small group for couples at your church. Look for quality friends/family who are going to help your marriage, encourage your marriage, and promote it's growth, development, and health.

It is amazing to me how much influence the people have around us. Sometimes we are aware of the influence and sometimes we aren't. With marriage, we must be aware of the influences around us because we need them to be pro-marriage! Having a strong and great support system is absolutely imperative for the success of a marriage. It lifts you when you are down, encourages you when you are discouraged, keeps an eye out when yours are blinded, and just helps keep you going when things are tough. Plus, it is fun to be around people who are all sharing in life together with a mentality of happiness and growth. Surround yourself with a strong support system; it is crucial for you and your marriage!

read more

Food for Marriage: Intimacy

Intimacy. I chose the word intimacy over sex intentionally because it more fully capitulates the point I want to make. My definition of intimacy is knowing someone on deeper levels that transcends average relationships and bonds - being completely vulnerable and completely protected at the same time. Sex has become so commercialized and glamorized in today's society that it unfortunately is not kept in the confounds of marriage a lot of times. Sex is something frequently tossed around casually by people in many contexts. Intimacy though is something that you can't just experience with anyone. Intimacy requires more attentiveness, time, and connection than sex does. It almost supersedes words because it is so surreal to have true intimacy with your spouse. It is a bond and experience that really just isn't fully realized if explored outside of marriage.

Intimacy is the fifth Food for Marriage I want to discuss. Every marriage needs intimacy. It connects us with our spouse in ways we cannot connect with anyone else. It is this amazing gift from God that allows us to know each other on such deep levels that they can barely be described really. They just have to be experienced. Sex is a frequent gateway for intimacy to be cultivated, but it goes beyond just the sexual act itself and reaches to the deeper connection. It is that realization that you are sharing something so phenomenal, exciting, and special with this person you will be with for the rest of your life. Intimacy can also be cultivated through deep conversations that you don't have and can't have with just anyone. You may share experiences that have shaped you, things no one else knows about, deep fear or hopes, etc. It is all about sharing yourself with your spouse in a way that is only possible within the safety of that marital bond.

Sharing yourself in the most vulnerable of ways and it being welcomed and protected by your spouse is something we all want and need. That intimacy is one of the best parts of marriage, and every marriage needs it. This is something that does come instantly but requires time and devotion to your spouse. You have to provide and feel that safety in order to truly experience the depths of intimacy in marriage. If you don't feel you can trust your spouse with your most vulnerable parts, intimacy will be choked out. Both spouses must work to provide that safety and security for each other, and then each take the risk of completely opening themselves up to their spouse in order to have true intimacy. It is essential to a marriage and one of the wonderful benefits of marriage!

read more

Food for Marriage: Quality Time

I don't know about you, but I find there is never enough time in the day to get everything done. It seems too like the older I get, the more time flies by. Time is one of the most limited resources out there today. As I mentioned in the introduction yesterday, we are constantly pulled in a million directions by a million commitments we have. There is so much at our finger tips these days and so much on our plates, that it's tough to find the time for everything. As much as these things can be a blessing, they can also be the pathway to marital problems.

Over-commitment and over-involvement in a laundry list of things can be majorly detrimental to marriage. Also as I mentioned yesterday in the introduction, it isn't that we should spend every waking moment at home and with our spouse and completely neglect responsibilities and community involvement. It is just that we have to learn how to balance it all and keep ourselves in check to make sure our marriages (and families) aren't suffering as a result of it. That brings me to the first food in the "Food for Marriage" series this week - Quality Time.

Quality time with your spouse is an essential and imperative component to the success and quality of marriage. Some people may require more or less of this, but every marriage needs some quality time to grow and thrive. Think back to the dating years... Most of us spent a ton of time with our spouses back then. We made time where there was none to be had even. Why? Because we enjoyed their company, wanted to get to know them, and were hoping things would progress forward in the relationship as a result. If you are married, you were successful at that. What happens after marriage though? After the "I dos?" We think our work is done. We start devoting ourselves to anything and everything, and before you know it, you've lost that lovin' feeling. (Come on, you all know that song by the Righteous Brothers - "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'"). Why do we stop putting forth the effort once we find the person worth committing
the rest of our lives to? Think about it - that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. We search the world over, find someone who peaks our interest, we work as hard as possible to get their attention and maintain their attention, we commit to being with them for life, and then we stop. The race doesn't end with our vows, it starts.

Time is one of our most precious resources. We are given one lifetime, which may seem like forever, but the reality is that it is a blink in time. Just ask a grandparent or elderly person how long a lifetime is, and they will tell you how it flies by. What are you going to do with your speck of time on Earth? It is funny because I remember my mom telling me to enjoy being a kid because it will fly by. She said time only goes by more quickly the older you get. I thought she was crazy because it seemed like it would be forever before I would grow up, and now that I am grown up, I see that time flies by more quickly than I could ever have imagined. It is kind of scary at times because I feel like I have wasted so much of my time here on Earth. That is why we must make the most of this time we are given, and one of the best ways you can spend that time given is developing one of the few things that stay with us throughout this short life - our marriage.

Quality time spent with our spouse is not only essential, it's wonderful. I am not going to lie, there is nothing I would rather do than spend time with my hubs! Straight up, I cannot get enough time with him. We spend time talking, working out, reading together, watching sports, going to amusement parks...you name it, we do it together and love every second of it. We grow so much closer in those moments because we enjoy each others company. We have fun together
and make memories that will last our lifetime together. Maintaining that friendship is one of the glues of marriage, and that can only be done by investing your time into one another and the marriage. I know, I know - there just aren't enough hours in the day to get it all done. You are talking to someone who at one point was pulling 75 hour weeks - full time, 2 year track Master's student, working full-time, traineeship with 8 clients & weekly supervision, personal therapy each week, planning a wedding across the country...finding time for anything was like chasing the wind. There are seasons where time is harder to find than others, but I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to make time for one another! You must make time for your marriage, or it will not make it. If it does make it, there won't be much to it. If things are falling apart right now in your marriage, ask yourself how much quality time you have spent with one another. Make the time - rekindle the joys of those dating years and watch your relationship, friendship, and marriage grow!

read more

Food for Marriage: Introduction Week #2

Last week I introduced the topic of Food for Marriage, which is the concept that like the human body needs food and nutrients to survive, our marriages have similar needs. Marriage is a special and unique relationship that has so many fun and wonderful benefits. Sadly marriages have taken a turn for the worse, and we find that many people are struggling in their marriages and anything but enjoying the benefits of it. Marriage requires energy, effort, work, and a constant daily commitment to making it the best it can be. In today's society, we are pulled in so many directions. We have more obligations and commitments than ever, and in most situations, both spouses are outside the home a large portion of the time. Although these are wonderful opportunities allotted to us by the wave of the times, it has left a void in the home.

The more involvements and commitments each spouse has, the less time they are able to devote to the marriage and family (if children are involved). Now as always, I want to emphasize that I am not saying we should spend every waking minute at home and with our spouses or that community and other involvement is a negative thing. I am saying that over-involvement and over-commitment to a large number of things can be the demise of a marriage because there is no time or energy left for it. It is important to prioritize your commitments with marriage at the top of the list as well as provide the necessary nutrients to our marriages in order for them to be the best they can be.

This week we will be picking back up with the Food for Marriage series and discussing three more vitals for making the most of our marriages. As a refresher last week we went over the first three: Christ-centered, Commitment, and Communication. Feel free to go back and check those out if you missed any of them or if you just want to brush up. This week's three are:

• Quality Time
• Intimacy
• Support System

Be sure to join me this week!

read more

Food for Marriage: Communication

How many of us have heard the saying "Communication is the key?" I have. Communication is the key to what though? Well, communication is definitely the key to marriage. Next on the menu of Food for Marriage is communication.

Communication. Ahhhh, where to begin. Communication is how we convey things (feelings, ideas, facts) to another person. Not only is there verbal communication but there is non-verbal communication: body language - how we position ourselves, eye contact, nodding, facial expressions, etc. In case you haven't figured it out yet, communicating is important in every single area of our lives. Whether it's work, family, friends, church, we have to be able to communicate with people. Marriage is an especially important area to be able to communicate in. Communicating gives us the opportunity to continue to get to know each other, build our relationship, take the temperature of the marriage, and enjoy one another. Not only communicating but knowing how to communicate is essential to a marriage.

Women and men communicate differently. One of the biggest communication stumbling blocks is the general view of what the point of communication is. Men typically feel that communication is meant for conveying facts and necessary information. Women typically feel that communication is meant to build relationship. Already we have a challenge. A classic situation that arises from this difference is as follows:

The husband gets home from work. Dinner isn't quite ready and the wife is frazzled. She begins to spew out all the stuff that went wrong during her day - the washer door popped open so I had a puddle to clean up, there was a huge line at the post office so I was late getting to my dentist appointment, I had a thousand phone calls to make, and then I forgot to pick up milk from the grocery store, so I had to make a run to the store, and now dinner is late. The husband looks at her with this almost horrified look and says, "What do you want me to do about it?" A fight erupts between the two of them.

Do you know what just happened here? There was a breakdown in communication branching from that fundamental difference in what communicating is for. Women often just need to vent about what is going on. They spew off a laundry list of things that occurred just to feel like someone cares and understands. Men hear this laundry list and think they are responsible for solving each of those problems. Men want to solve problems, and so they miss that women just need to be heard, which in turn upsets women because they feel like their husbands are insensitive. Men - 98% of the time, there is no problem to be fixed! Women just want you to listen, to care, and maybe dialogue a little bit about it so they can let off some stress and steam. Women - men are different from us and want to solve your "problems," so cut them some slack sometimes and explain what you are needing from the conversation.

That is just one obstacle of communicating, and truthfully there are too many to even mention in one article. The main point I want to emphasize is that communication is important. If there is a breakdown in communication (the big warning sign flashing is when an argument begins to erupt), take a step back and ask if there is a fundamental difference in what the two of you are communicating. Try to be clear about what you need from a conversation. Women, understand that men are different from us. You don't see little boys on the playground gathered together with their friends talking and playing dolls. No, they are out doing things together like playing baseball. Girls are talkers, and we have to try to be patient with our men. Men, you gotta bust out of your shells and realize communication is an important part of your marriage and relationship with your wife. I know it's tough, but really try to work on communicating and listening. It builds intimacy and makes your wife feel loved, plus you will probably feel better too. If you are struggling with this - tell her that, and you can work through it together.

One more specific area of communication I wanted to touch on is affirmation. Affirming your spouse is so important! We can build people up with our communication or tear them down. If you want your marriage to thrive, you must always be building when you are communicating. That doesn't mean you never talk about the tough stuff, but you are always aware of the other person's feelings when doing so. Affirmation is really important to both men and women, but men especially show a tendency toward needing this. Make sure to not just point out what your husband forgot to do or isn't good at. Tell him what he did well. Examples: "Honey, thank you for taking the trash out. I really appreciate you taking care of that for me." "Thanks for how hard you work honey. You are such an amazing provider." Men, don't be afraid to do the same for your wife. "Sweetheart, you are the most gorgeous woman." "Honey, your dinner tonight was spectacular. Thanks for taking care of me." A little bit goes a long way. Build, build, build your spouse up, and your marriage will follow!

Communication is so important. A lot of things get missed or confused when we don't communicate effectively with one another. The good news is that over time you learn each other more and more, and it becomes a little easier. The worst thing you can do is to give up and stop communicating! That is a recipe for disaster. You must keep communicating with one another - build that intimacy and relationship, enjoy each others company, learn about each other and what is going on in your lives, and keep your marriage on track. Don't forget that your body language is communicating right alongside your mouth, so keep that in check. Be honest with one another but always do it in a loving and respectful way.

read more

Food for Marriage: Commitment

The second food in my Food for Marriage pyramid is commitment. Commitment is defined by Merriam Webster as:

2a: an agreement or pledge to do something in the future b: something pledged c: the state or an instance of being obligated to emotionally impelled commitment to a cause

I have discussed commitment previously (check out "Love is Intentional: Making a Vow" and "Love is Intentional: Daily Re-Commitment"), and I want to emphasize the importance of it once again. Commitment to marriage is like the heartbeat of marriage; you must exercise it and keep it going if you want the marriage to survive. So many people do not realize that marriage is a commitment; we are vowing that we will stick it out, make the most of it, love and care for our spouse, and do everything we can to nurture our marriage for the rest of our lives. It isn't a feeling or emotion - those change moment by moment. If you are basing your marriage on a fleeting feeling or emotion, then it will most certainly fail. Marriage is a commitment that you must make for life if you want the marriage to make it and thrive. It is that strong footing for which you can place everything upon. Think of a mountain climber. Now I am not a climber myself; I am afraid of heights, but I am familiar with the concept of climbing (I know people and have done one of those climbing walls...haha). Having a strong footing is important; you can't take the next step if you don't have something to push off of. Commitment is that strong footing on a journey up the mountain of life in marriage. Without it, you aren't going anywhere but down.

Marriage isn't something you fell into. The world often says that you fall in love and get married. The reality is that you should spend enough time with a person to establish if they are someone you want to commit to for life in a commitment called marriage. It isn't about falling into anything. It goes back to the fundamental concept that we choose what decisions we make, how we act, how we react, etc. Marriage is a commitment, and it's only going to be as good and strong as the commitment you are willing to make to it and your spouse. Part of that commitment is self-sacrifice. It is that other-oriented mentality. Now I am not encouraging anyone to completely give up their self-identity or to enter into an abusive relationship. What I am saying though is that if you want your marriage to work, if you want your spouse to be happy in the marriage, if you want to be happy in the marriage, if you want your marriage to be the best it can be...you have to start thinking about your spouse. When you enter into a marriage, you are giving up the right to just live for yourself. It's now a joint effort, and everything you do, every decision you make affects someone else. You must start thinking about the other person - their needs, what's best for the marriage, their wants. Maybe you really want to buy a new boat, so you start just putting "your" money aside so you can save up and buy one. Meanwhile, there are some debts that could be paid off, or maybe you really need a few things around the house. It's not about what you want anymore - what do both of you want. If you both want that boat and can really afford it without putting a strain on your finances and marriage, then go for it. But if it's a bone of contention because your spouse knows there are other things that money could and should be spent on, then you need to accept that responsibility. It's not "your" money anymore - it's "our" money. Get outside of yourself and focus on making the marriage work and the other person happy. In the end it will make you happier anyway because your marriage will be thriving and your spouse will happily married.

We so easily commit to so many things - guys/girls night out every month, our jobs, watching TV, even church functions. We commit ourselves to so many things and leave our marriage and family hanging. Although there are other things we need and want to commit to, we can't leave our marriages in the dust. Commitment to the marriage should be the first and foremost commitment at all times with everything else falling in line. The commitment can't be half-hearted or else it's pointless. You must fully commit each and every day to your marriage - making the most of it and being the best spouse possible.

read more

Food for Marriage: Christ Centered

As I mentioned yesterday, there are several items essential to marriage. They are what I like to call "Food for Marriage" because they are feeding and fueling the marriage to grow and develop into the strong and healthy entity that it can and should be. The first Food for Marriage I would like to discuss is "Christ centered." I want to mention this first because I believe it is the most important. I know not all of my readers are Christians, but I would encourage you to read this entry anyway and hear me out because a lot of the Biblical concepts of marriage are very practical.

I am guessing you might have a few questions right off the bat, so I wanted to try and address them:
Q: What does it mean to have a Christ centered marriage?
A: Well, it means having Christ at the center of your personal life and marriage.

Q: How do you go about doing that?
A: It's about having a personal relationship with Christ, asking him into your home, your life, and your marriage. Pray for your spouse, pray for yourself to be the best spouse possible, pray for your marriage, and pray together. Read the Bible - it's got all sorts of practical tips and advice in there, and it really helps you to feel closer to God and His plan for you. Go to church together. Find a small group of fellow Christian young couples that can act as a support and accountability group. There are lots of things you can do to put Christ at the center of your marriage. As we grow closer to God, we grow closer to each other.

Q: Why have Christ at the center of our marriage?
A: The plain and simple truth of all marriages is that they are tough and sometimes require strength, love, and patience that are beyond our human capabilities. I have found in times where I feel so overwhelmed or frustrated, it is so nice to be able to pray to God for supernatural strength, ability, and love to work through things. He never fails us. He is the strength that we lack at times. Additionally, there is higher accountability. We are humans, and we make mistakes. It is nice though to know that you are not only accountable to your spouse but also to God. It gives you all the more reason to "stay in line." Also, that is true of your spouse; you know they have a higher accountability than just to you. It's kind of like a little extra insurance.

I know what you might be saying..."the divorce rates within the Christian community are the same as the secular community." You are unfortunately right. It is a real shame that Christians have not been able to be the beacon of light to the rest of the world in their marriages. I believe that a lot of the reason this is the case is that although Christians believe in Christ, it doesn't necessarily mean they are putting Christ at the center of their life and marriage. Now, I am not trying to judge anyone at all - Christians or non-Christians, but I do believe that there are reasons there isn't a huge discrepancy between divorce rates in the Christian community and outside the Christian community. My personal belief is that Christians today have gotten lazy. We don't hold ourselves to the Biblical principles we know to be true. We don't cultivate the same relationship with Christ that we should. We don't pursue righteousness the way we should. We don't rely on Christ as much as we should. We just kind of do the bare minimum and hope that it's enough to get us by. The unfortunate thing is not only is that not good enough, but it makes Christians look so terrible, it makes us look like hypocrites, and it makes our God look dishonorable. We must hold ourselves to a higher standard - we know better! That being said, I believe whole-heartedly that Christ being at the center of a marriage is one of the most important keys to a happy and successful marriage.

God created marriage. He wanted us to have a companion. In Genesis 2:18 the Bible says "The Lord God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" This is where women came into the picture. God wants us to have a companion! He knew that we needed each other, and that is why he made us complementary to each other. Additionally, he tells us that 2 are stronger than 1, and that we have a direct connection with him when we are gathered together. Just look at Matthew 18:20 - "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." That seems pretty clear to me. Think of a rope - the more strands there are in the rope, the stronger it is. No one wants to buy a rope that is just one strand because we know that more strands are stronger, which is why together in a marriage, we are stronger than by ourselves. It's a blessing. Not only did God create women for men, not only did he create marriage, but He also gave us a lot of assistance with how a marriage should look.

God gives us a lot of help about marriage. One of the main concepts the Bible emphasizes is that marriage should be other-focused. He says in Ephesians 5:21 - "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Not only is this verse saying we should be other-focused, but we should do it because the marriage is Christ centered, which means we do it out of love and awe for Jesus. Other-focused is a dying concept in our society today because everything is about the individual. It is about each person doing what is best for them, what makes them feel good. That is not a recipe for a happy and successful marriage. We must take the focus off of ourselves and place it on our spouse and what is best for our marriage. If we can't do that, the marriage will fail. God also lets us know that there is a fundamental need for both the husband and the wife. Women need love, men need respect. Look at Ephesians 5:33 - "So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." That's a pretty big clue as to what each gender needs in the marriage. Also, all through the Bible, God tells us what true love looks like. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 gives us a beautiful and thorough portrait of love (see below for the verse). The Bible gives us so much on the topic of marriage. He wants us to be successful because he designed marriage for us! Here are a few other verses i find helpful and encouraging about marriage:

• Proverbs 18:22 - "The man who finds a wife finds a treasure..."
• Proverbs 31:10 - "Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies."
• Matthew 19:5 - "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh."
  
• Ephesians 5:31-32 - "As the Scriptures say, 'A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' This is a profound mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one."
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Whether you are a Christian or not, Christ created marriage for us and provides us some amazing assistance as to what we can do, what it should look like, and how to be successful in our marriages. Marriage is a gift from God, and he gave us some instructions to help guide us along the way. I cannot encourage you enough to pray together, pray for each other, pray for your marriage. Follow His words, and honor Him in your marriage. Even if you aren't a Christian, try out these concepts because they are fundamentally and practically important to a marriage! Put Christ at the center of your marriage - truly, earnestly, and whole-heartedly - and He will bless you.

read more

Food for Marriage: Introduction

Marriage is a work-in-progress that we can never give up on. It takes time, patience, commitment, and love (among many other things). It has its highs & lows and ups & downs, but it is so worth it. I think of the famous painter/sculptor/poet/architect/engineer Michelangelo and the pieces he worked on. A lot of the projects he worked on spanned over quite a long time period. One project that was a funerary chapel in the basilica of San Lorenzo, took him the bulk of 20 years, and it was still not completed. Think of the time, energy, and thought that went into that inanimate object; it still created a masterpiece though that would be known for generations to come. Marriage is a masterpiece that requires delicate care and attention for the entirety of your life. Marriage is soft clay in the hands of an artist - yours and your spouses hands. If you delicately and ever so thoughtfully care for it, it will be shaped into a masterpiece that will be felt in generations to follow - your children, your childrens' children, and so on and so forth. That is why you must care for your precious masterpiece with every ounce of your being.

There are certain areas of a marriage to really cultivate and pay careful attention to in order to really mold it into that masterpiece. I like to call it food for the marriage because these areas are as crucial and important to your marriage as food is to your body. Any of us can scarf down junk food and feel satisfied, but we will most likely pay the price later if we continue to do so in the appearance and health of our bodies. Picking the right foods and making sure to eat those when necessary will lead to a healthy and happy body that will most likely last longer. Marriage needs to be fed the right foods at the right times to grow and develop into a long-lasting union. This series will actually be a 2-week series, so stay tuned! The menu for this week includes:

• Christ-centered
• Commitment
• Communication

Next week's menu includes:

• Quality Time
• Intimacy
• Support
  

Stay tuned this week and next week to check these out!

read more