Love is Intentional: Love Tip #3

We have been talking all week about love being an intentional act. How marriage is a constant, daily re-commitment. Marriage is like a giant quilt knitted patch by patch into this beautiful masterpiece. Each day is another patch, another piece of the big picture.

I wanted to encourage you to be intention starting now. Here is a little tip to get you started:

Take time to write down 10 things you love and/or appreciate about your spouse. Title it: "10 Reasons I Love You." Write them one a nice piece of paper. Sign it with an "I love you" or a "Just wanted to let you know I love you" and your name (if you have a little nickname from your spouse, use it). Take it and leave it in an unexpected place where he/she will find it. Some hints are their wallet (or purse), car, or in the bathroom by the mirror (place it there at night so they can find it in the morning when they are getting ready for their day).

Trust me; your spouse is going to love your love list! Wouldn't you? Try doing little things like this at least once a week - it's sewing the fabric of your life together.

read more

Love is Intentional: Practical Intentions

Each day we make a choice to love our spouse. It is a choice. Having a happy and thriving marriage requires intentionality on the part of both people involved. It requires a daily re-commitment to your marriage vows.

There are infinite ways to be intentional about loving your spouse and making your marriage the best it can be. My hope is to get you started by listing off some practical and easy ways:

• Start each day by telling your spouse how much you love, appreciate, and cherish him/her.
• Try to do something special at least once a month just for your spouse because your know he/she will love it.
  
• At least once a year, sit down, read, and recite your vows to each other again to keep them current and fresh in your mind.
  
• When you do not feel like loving your spouse, choose to love them anyway.
• Pray for your spouse and marriage daily.
• When you are feeling yourself beginning to have negative feelings toward your spouse, stop and focus on some of the good things about your spouse.
• Each day, tell yourself and your spouse that you love them.
• Maintain integrity by avoiding any potentially hazardous or dangerous situations that could harm your marriage.
• Think positively about your spouse and marriage.

As I mentioned before, there are an infinite amount of possibilities on how you can intentionally love your spouse. This is just a small list of some things to get you started and thinking in that direction.

While I am at it, I just wanted to share a little experience from yesterday that I found so encouraging. I was at Hallmark picking up some cards for various people, and I overheard an older lady telling the sales person that she had been married for 66 years. As i was leaving the store, I wanted to let her know how encouraging it was to hear that someone made it 66 years (that's quite the accomplishment!). Well, as I congratulated her, she proceeded to tell me that after 66 years of marriage, her husband had just passed away at the age of 91, and she was there picking up some things for the proceedings this weekend. She wasn't sad though because she said it was the best 66 years, and that they had created this amazing family together that all had wonderful memories to ponder upon. As I walked away, I thought to myself, "Isn't that what we all really crave? A lifetime with someone. A huge family of memories all started with a commitment we made and kept. All brought together in celebration of life." I was so encouraged and absolutely overwhelmed with excitement of hearing her story. What she and her husband had is what we all want, but so many of us aren't willing to do what it takes to get that.

Love does not come easily. Love is an action and requires work. Marriage may be one of the hardest things you will ever have to work at, but it's also the greatest thing to work at. Don't get discouraged - realize it's tough, it's work, there are going to be good and bad times, there are ups and downs. The important thing is to make your marriage a priority through it all and remember how it is so worth it. Stay intentional. Put the time, effort, and work into it, so that you can reap its rewards for the rest of your lives as will all the generations to follow you.

read more

Love is Intentional: Making a Vow

Love is intentional. Love in a marriage has to be intentional! Part of understanding love's intentionality is to look at the fundamental commitment of marriage. Marriage starts with two people making a vow to one another before God, friends, and family. What does that mean? That's what today's entry will be discussing.

When two people enter into a marriage, they make a covenant, a vow to one another. Nowadays that may not seem like a big deal, but it is and always has been. Only recently has divorce in the United States been so widely acceptable. That is because that covenant and vow were taken so seriously. Merriam-Webster defines a vow as "a solemn promise or assertion; specifically : one by which a person is bound to an act, service, or condition." A vow is a binding agreement. Biblically speaking, marriage is a covenant. Covenants in the Bible are blood bonds for life; the only way they can be broken is through death. All of that is to say that we must understand the brevity and severity of the actions we are taking on that blessed wedding day. It's serious stuff, and I think if we thought about that, focused on that, and really understood that, we would act differently.

Exchanging vows with your husband or wife was a huge moment and step in your life. It was (or is for those of you not married yet) a serious commitment that needs to be thought about and taken seriously. It helps to think about that individually and collectively. I would encourage you to keep your vows current and relevant. What does that mean? Print out a copy of your wedding vows - keep them easily accessible, and then look over them together. Recite them to each other again (maybe each year on your wedding anniversary - that's a minimum), and keep it fresh in your minds. It will help keep you on the right track.

Intentionally remind yourselves of the vows you have made in your marriage. Remind yourselves of the commitment you have made and what that means. Understanding it is a commitment helps you to intentionally commit to your marriage for life day in and day out. The truth is that you aren't always going to "feel" in love, which is why you have to intentionally choose to love your spouse and commit to your marriage each and every single day.

read more

Love is Intentional

Love is intentional. This is one of my primary beliefs related to marriage. Intentionality is essential in a marriage if you are going to have one that not only works but thrives. Marriage does not come easy; it never will, so you might as well start accepting that now. Marriage is one of the most beneficial and fulfilling relationships we all can experience here on earth, but we have to be intentional each and every day if we want it to last and be the best it can possibly be.

So many times I have heard people say in one way or another that they think that love should be easy. They say they will know "the one" when it just comes easily and there is no "drama" in the relationship. You will be looking forever. Granted some relationships are a little more "drama free" than others, but every single relationship is going to require work. If you are expecting easy, then you are going to hit the road when it gets tough...because it will. Most likely you won't be putting in the necessary work either if you are thinking a relationship should be easy. Relationships, love, and marriage are all work that require intentionality.

Marriage requires intentional love day in and day out. This week we will be dissecting what intentionality means and looks like in a marriage. The discussions will include the following:

• Making a Vow
• Daily Re-commitment
• Practical Intentions
  

So join me this week on being intentional in your marriage!

read more